This doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the essay, but I want to point out that "alcohol works by poisoning your brain" is a misconception.
Alcohol is poisonous mainly because it causes potentially fatal respiratory depression in the short-term and liver injury due to metabolism in the long-term, but that doesn't really have anything to do with its psychological effects. It impairs your thinking, but so does THC, which isn't poisonous.
Its actual method of action is complex and not fully understood, but it affects the GABA receptors in your brain to make you feel relaxed and euphoric, sort of like other drugs such as Xanax.
This seems really cool. And yet, I saw a girl at the beach today. I suppose, being maximally honest, I would've said something like "You have an amazing fat fucking ass!". I instead said "I just wanted to say that I think you're beautiful". Going with the ass comment maybe would've violated the kindness goal, but I really do think vulnerable honesty and kindness are in conflict sometimes.
Will be trying this method out regardless, maybe will get the book.
Yeah a lot of why kindness is in there is also as a guardrail to "honesty-as-being-a-dick." though in broader strokes I'm still trying to decide if there's a better formalization I should be using.
Maybe it's better to have no goals. As in, drop the goal of consciously trying to manage the other person's mind, and don't replace it with anything. You are unconsciously attuning yourself to the other person anyway, whatever comes out of you when you're calm and relaxed is unlikely to be creepy or weird, vulnerability is not gonna turn into the movie Liar, Liar.
Hey, this is great. Sorry for the relatively contentless comment, but ... this is great!
To decide for someone how they might or ought feel about your honest self, especially if for someone who you do not truly understand...
"It is a well-meaning condescension you offer, but condescension nonetheless"
- PGtE
Great post, I've been thinking about this for days
This doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the essay, but I want to point out that "alcohol works by poisoning your brain" is a misconception.
Alcohol is poisonous mainly because it causes potentially fatal respiratory depression in the short-term and liver injury due to metabolism in the long-term, but that doesn't really have anything to do with its psychological effects. It impairs your thinking, but so does THC, which isn't poisonous.
Its actual method of action is complex and not fully understood, but it affects the GABA receptors in your brain to make you feel relaxed and euphoric, sort of like other drugs such as Xanax.
This seems really cool. And yet, I saw a girl at the beach today. I suppose, being maximally honest, I would've said something like "You have an amazing fat fucking ass!". I instead said "I just wanted to say that I think you're beautiful". Going with the ass comment maybe would've violated the kindness goal, but I really do think vulnerable honesty and kindness are in conflict sometimes.
Will be trying this method out regardless, maybe will get the book.
Yeah a lot of why kindness is in there is also as a guardrail to "honesty-as-being-a-dick." though in broader strokes I'm still trying to decide if there's a better formalization I should be using.
Maybe it's better to have no goals. As in, drop the goal of consciously trying to manage the other person's mind, and don't replace it with anything. You are unconsciously attuning yourself to the other person anyway, whatever comes out of you when you're calm and relaxed is unlikely to be creepy or weird, vulnerability is not gonna turn into the movie Liar, Liar.